For National Prayer Day, and thoughts on leadership and power

Which was on May 7th, but yes, I'm just posting it here now. It was on my Facebook wall on the 7th:

Lords and Ladies of peace and justice, let us come together to find solutions.

Let people get off their asses, roll up their sleeves,

and get dirty with the work of building a better future.

Let us unite,

let us pull each other up with love instead of tearing each other down with fear.

Shining Ones, help me to be in the right place to contribute to that work.

And grant me the patience to not bitch-slap ignorant people on social media.

So mote it be! 

As I currently have two major dust-ups going on in two different pagan organizations to which I belong, not to mention the recent and somewhat on-going unrest in Baltimore (which I don't really need to link to, do I?), this was a very appropriate sentiment for the end of the week.

Let's talk briefly about those dust-ups, as I seem to be in the right place to contribute to at least some of the work of building out of love versus tearing down in fear. I'm not going to name the organizations here... it's internal politics. If you're with them, you'll recognize. If not, I promise not to be so vague that you get nothing out of the discussion.

The first issue exploded on Thursday afternoon, and seems to be a power struggle between an old faction and the current leadership. The current leadership is investigating. I hope that my "cut through the bullshit" comments on social media helped. I tried to be rational.

The second issue exploded yesterday, and while it also involves the group's leadership, it seems more about (a) pushing a change through before the current leadership steps down and (b) misconceptions over the role of the leadership and the interest of the membership in leadership decisions. I made a few comments on social media on a friend's account about said issue, but not in the open forums of said group.

These issues do have something in common. Power, or lack thereof, and perceived notions of leadership as a privileged class. Both are issues that are very hot-button in pagan communities, and both actually stem from the same root issue -- who has control?

Power, at least as it applies to leading a group, is often an illusion. Those on the outside of the leadership see a clique, a small group holding the power, often without deference to those who've put them there. In some cases, that ends up being true... but not always. Probably not even most of the time.

I've been, and continue to be, a leader. It's the most thankless fucking job in the world if you are doing it correctly. Leaders have power, sure, but they're doing something with it. A leader who isn't getting it done isn't a leader. Leaders are the first people there, the last people out. They do the scut-work that others don't want to do, and they make the hard decisions.

It's easy to say a leader should always consult with their base. I do agree that leaders should make a concerted effort to communicate and be transparent in what they are doing. But the base also has a responsibility to give feedback when asked. Don't act like you don't give a shit until something happens, and then howl about it, if you had your chance earlier to speak up.

But power is an illusion, and only poor leaders crave it. And when you depose poor leaders, they will continue to crave it and work in the back channels to get it back. These are cowardly, empty people, but they will persist as long as we give them our ears. As long as gossip is allowed to fester and rot in the dark corners, they will persist.

I've had it said to me twice now, once per dust-up, that these things have happened before, the organization has survived, we'll lose some people over it and that's ok, etc etc etc, yadda yadda yadda.

Why?

Why do we have to allow these destructive patterns of behavior to continue? Why do we give credence to gossip rather than seeking the truth? Because it's salacious and entertaining? Because we secretly want to tumble someone in power because we, too, harbor the same delusions of exclusion?

We don't need to continue to go down the same road because it's a familiar, easy pattern.

I'll say that again: We don't need to continue to go down the same road because it's a familiar, easy pattern.

We choose how to react. If we, as a community, collectively choose to seek truth instead of spreading gossip, to support our leadership through the tough work, to demand transparency and answers when our leaders get lazy... if we as a community choose to work together out of love to improve ourselves, then we don't get caught in self-destructive (or community-destructive) patterns.

We choose how to react. I chose this time to not react defensively, to not see nefarious conspiracies that aren't there, though I acknowledge the ones that are actually playing out. I choose to seek the truth and to hold my leaders accountable for what actually happens, as opposed to what the court of public opinion thinks might have happened based on what they heard fourth-hand through Facebook.

I also choose to make this a personal mandate, as part of my whole "tend the hearth" personal philosophy. I'm going to "preach" this every time there's a conflict, and walk it myself. And maybe, just maybe, behaviors will change because of it. I feel the Gods expect no less of me now that they've revealed a truth.

We don't need to continue to go down the same road because it's a familiar, easy pattern.

So mote it be.